We did it, Ohio. We are Number (censored) One.
A study cited this week by the Atlantic magazine concludes that Ohioans swear more than their counterparts in any other state — more than twice as much as those (censored) goody-goodies in Washington, the state whose residents have the cleanest mouths.
This isn’t a load of unscientific (censored). The data and research institute of the Marchex advertising firm reviewed 600,000 phone calls that consumers made over 12 months this year and in 2012 to businesses in 30 industries.
The researchers didn’t tap anyone’s phone. The calls were placed to customer service lines, and consumers were told: “Your call may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance.” Technology identified where the calls came from, and the volume of profanity they included.
And — are you (censored) kidding me? — Marchex discovered that Ohioans cursed during one out of every 150 or so calls. After us Buckeyes, people were most likely to swear in Maryland, New Jersey, Louisiana, and Illinois.
That’s not (censored) all. Marchex compiled a courtesy index, measuring the number of times a caller said “please” and “thank you.” Ohio came through again: We’re the fifth-most discourteous state, trailing only Wisconsin, Massachusetts, Indiana, and Tennessee.
The study also found that overall, men curse twice as much as women. The longer a call lasts, the more likely a customer is to curse. For whatever reason, cursing is more prevalent in the morning than in the afternoon or evening.
Well, fun’s fun, but do we Ohioans truly want a national reputation for being foul-mouthed and rude, rather than civil and articulate? No (censored) way.
So at least if you’re talking to someone in another state, kindly watch your (censored) language.