(For entertainment purposes only)
Will E. hasn't finally figured out why he dislikes Tom Brady so much - besides the fact that he's a-maize-ingly good-looking, a wonderful role model and one heckuva football player. The thinking is that in Will E.'s last gig, Brady drained his unit bank and forced him into a 12-step program.
Tom Brady reminds Will E. of Bono, no not Steve Bono, the quarterback - the real Bono, U2's frontman. They're both a little too perfect, no rough edges. Tom Brady was very Bono-like when he went 14-for-14 in the fourth quarter last week against the Steelers to ruin Will E's perfect mark in 100-unit matchups. So, now Will E. isn't perfect, either. But neither is ESPN's Hammered Hank, who went 1-5 last Sunday. 1-5? Will E. could do better than that flipping quarters after a four-week bender. Hammerin' Hank is atrocious.
So, Tom Brady, like Bono says, Will E. can win "With or without You." Like two weeks ago when Will E. predicted the Panthers beating your Patriots. And like last week when your final drive ruined Will E.'s perfect day. Tom Brady, we'll meet again, but not this week.
Cincinnati minus-9 1/2 over Houston: The Bengals are the gift that just keeps giving and have not lost to the number all season. Will E. has the whip in his hand because he's riding this winner to the finish line. Remember, Carson Palmer is the best QB in the division. For 100 units.
Seattle plus-2 over Washington: Shaun Alexander scored four touchdowns last week. The Redskins defense hasn't allowed a 100-yard rusher yet this season. Which one wins out this week at FedEx Field? The Seahawks deliver on the ground and in the air. For 50 units.
Tennessee plus-7 over Indianapolis: You'll never convince Will E. that the Colts aren't a dome team. They're on the road this week and the Titans' Chris Brown ran for 100 yards twice last year against the Colts. Nashville isn't Peyton's place. For 75 units.
Oakland minus-3 over Dallas: Let's see, the Cowboys struggled in beating San Fran after blowing a 14-point lead to the Redskins. Oakland can throw deep. Can the Cowboys defend? Answer: No. Oakland for 75 units.
Jacksonville minus-4 over Denver: Expect a close game, but the Jags can defend and will have the Broncos on a short week. Jaguars for 75 units.
Tampa Bay minus-6 1/2 over Detroit: How can Will E. pass up the analogy that a Cadillac will zip past a Ford? He can't. Question of the weak: Which is the only division-leader that has scored less than it has given up? If you answered the Lions, you get a kewpie doll. Bucs for 75 units.
Last week: 2-1. Season: 6-3.
100-unit wagers: 2-1.
Season unit total: 675, up 175.
You can reach Will E. at firstname.lastname@example.org WILL E. in the subject line.