Article published March 12, 2009
Reality check on domestic violence is long overdue
Imagine: A young woman who is talented, gorgeous, rich, and famous is suddenly Everywoman.
If a woman with that string of adjectives hasn't walked away after a savage beating allegedly suffered at the hands of her boyfriend, think how hard it might be for your neighbor, or your aunt, cousin, or sister.
Or maybe you?
Think about everyone in your life and then consider this: 74 percent of us know someone who's been hurt by domestic violence, according to an Allstate Foundation 2006 national poll.
Yet, what are we talking about lately? Celebrity Smack-Down! It's the TMZ-ification of violence against women.
Oooh, what did Rihanna say to make Chris Brown go off on her like that? Oooh, was it Rihanna who slapped Chris first? Oooh, musta been some fight!If the good news is the beating of women is once again a hot topic of national conversation, the bad news is that much of what's said is all wrong.
We should all be sick of the media describing this seemingly textbook example of domestic violence as an "altercation" or "incident," with all the side chatter about who, what, or how it might have been "provoked."
Oh well - I'm sure Oprah will handle it better than most, when she does her Rihanna-inspired show today on dating violence. As long as Oprah's on it and the Internet still exists, there'll be discussion about Rihanna, 21, and Chris, 19.
But two things about this case bear special mention: First, the singers' ages, and second, the specifics of the alleged attack.
A 2005 study by Teenage Research Unlimited revealed that some 33 percent of teens surveyed knew a friend or peer who was physically harmed - punched, kicked, slapped, or even strangled - by someone they dated.
Moreover, 13 percent of teen girls report having been physically hurt in the context of, yes, romance. But - and this is a big "but" - only 33 percent of those surveyed who had either been in or known about a friend's abusive relationship ever told another living soul.
Heck, under Ohio law, teen dating violence doesn't exist.
"The law doesn't even cover it," said Lucas County Juvenile Court administrator Dan Pompa. "They come in as an assault or some other charge, so … we can't recognize it unless it's detailed in the police report. To be honest, I don't remember how many cases we've handled over the years, but [officially], it's only a handful."
Driven by the murder of a 17-year-old Toledo girl who was shot by her boyfriend days after high school graduation, state Rep. Edna Brown last year sponsored a bill to let juvenile courts issue protection orders for teens, but the bill sputtered and died in the Senate.
Last month, however, Ohio Attorney General Richard Cordray gave his thumbs-up to a new version of that bill, as well as another one calling for dating-violence education in schools.
In the meantime, women such as Toledoan Rachel Richardson keep their ears perked for teens' off-target comments about Rihanna.
Rachel and her colleague, Rebecca Facey, are so appalled by domestic violence that they formed a nonprofit (and, so far, nonpaying) two-woman agency called Independent Advocates.
Earlier this week, Rachel overheard a preteen girl gossiping.
"She said, 'Oh, it's all Rihanna's fault because she gave
Chris herpes.' Now, I hadn't heard that [unsubstantiated rumor], but even if she did give [a sexually transmitted disease], how can young people already be thinking that anyone deserves to be beaten?"
Too much of the wider discussion has a misplaced focus, added Rebecca: "Everyone's looking at Rihanna now to see what she's going to do. Who's looking for what Chris Brown will do? When is he getting enrolled in a serious batterers' program?"
Which brings me to my second point: The allegations against Chris Brown are far more dangerous than "average" acts of abuse.
This, from a Los Angeles police affidavit:
"Brown pulled [Rihanna] close to him and bit her on her left ear … Brown … then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to [her] left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness."
Most reporting on this allegation uses the word "choke," but "choke" is what you do on a sandwich. What Rihanna described to police is more accurately called strangulation.
And women whose abusers try to strangle them are five times - five times! - more likely to later be killed by those partners than are women whose husbands or boyfriends batter them in other ways.
Experts have recognized strangulation as a reliable homicide predictor since 2003, when a Johns Hopkins University researcher published the supporting data in the American Journal of Public Health.
All it takes is 11 pounds of pressure on both carotid arteries for 10 seconds to lose consciousness, according to the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, which also reported that after just 50 continuous seconds of oxygen loss, "the victim rarely recovers."
The strong link between strangling and homicide makes the charges against the young singer - who has said in interviews that his stepfather abused his mother - even more troublesome.
However this plays out in court (Chris faces two felonies), it seems pretty clear both parties need more than just legal help.
Maybe you - or someone you know - does, too.
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YWCA Battered Women's Shelter: 419-241-7386
National Domestic Violence Toll-Free Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or ndvh.org
National Teen Dating Violence Toll-Free Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 or loveisrespect.org (including real-time online chat)
Roberta de Boer is a columnist for The Blade.
Contact her at:
roberta@theblade.com
or 419-724-6086
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