Cruising Toledo: A guide for Tom Cruise

4/30/2005

You had us at hello, Tom.

The whole town is buzzing about you and your new girlfriend,

hometown sweetie Katie Holmes. I mean, Tom Cruise! That s big. (Well, figuratively speaking. You are kinda on the short side.)

If things continue to go well for you two, maybe you ll think about visiting Toledo.

After you get back from Italy, of course, where you just picked up a lifetime achievement award with Katie.

We know you d like Toledo. You re one of us. You were born in Syracuse, another blue-collar town. You understand us.

So come visit us, Tom. Do Toledo. You complete us.

At least think about it. Here, we ll even get things started. Here s an itinerary of some of the cool Toledo things you could do on your visit.

1. Ohio Air National Guard s 180th Fighter Wing, Toledo Express Airport.

After flying into town at Toledo Express, maybe you could do a ride-along in an F-16 Buzz the tower, Maverick! Buzz the tower! Or you

could give members of the national guard a briefing based on your experience in Top Gun. You know, tell them all about the MiG28 you saw do a 4-G negative dive. You can be our wingman anytime.

2. Kmart, 2244 South Reynolds Rd.

Forgot an extra pair of underwear for the visit? No problem. Follow the example of your Rain Man co-star Dustin Hoffman: Kmart, definitely Kmart. I get all my underwear from Kmart. Definitely,

definitely, Kmart. Definitely Kmart.

3.Yark Porsche, 6019 West Central Ave.

The Porsche 928 that you drove into Lake Michigan in your break-out hit Risky Business they don t make it anymore. But Steve Messinger, a client advisor at Yark, said he d be happy to take you out for a test drive in a Porsche 911. This time, maybe you could

drive it into Lake Erie. (Don t tell that to Steve.)

4.Tony Packo s Cafe,1902 Front St.

Toledo s signature restaurant is famous for all its hot dog buns signed by celebrities, but your name is one that s missing. (Actually, so is your new girlfriend s.) Tony Packo, Jr., would love to remedy that: We would be so proud and pleased to have Katie Holmes

and a megastar like Tom Cruise. We d roll out the red carpet

for him. Since they re a couple, would they sign one

bun or two, Tony? I think they deserve their own buns.

5. Mutt Lynch s Old Dog Saloon, 141 Main St.

This place on the East Side is close to the heart of the Holmes family and one of the places the actress visited in August when she came to town with an MTV video camera for the series Diary. Relax

and have a drink, Tom. Better yet, show off some of those moves from Cocktail.

6.Miss Cue Billiards and Darts, 1720 South Reynolds Rd.

Low on cash after hitting all these hot spots? Forget about looking for an ATM. Your money s no good here. Just drop by this pool hall and start hustling a la The Color of Money.

7.Home of Thomas Kruse, West Toledo.

Apparently Toledo already has one Tom Kruse, at least according to the phone book, but there s room enough in this city for two. As a goodwill gesture, you could pay a visit to your namesake.

8. Fifth Third Field, 406 Washington St.

Run the bases! Throw out the first pitch for a Mud Hens game! Wait, we can do better than that. You played a sports agent in Jerry Maguire. Why not try it for real?

9. Mayor s office, Government Center, 22nd floor.

Your mission, should you decided to accept it, is to get Mayor Jack Ford to smile. While you re over there, maybe we can get city council to announce Tom Cruise Day or something.

10. The Blade, 541 North Superior St.

This isn t on the tour just because we d, uh, like to meet you. (But dude, we loved you in Collateral. We gave it five stars!) It s because of the famous swords from Toledo, Spain, that lend their name

to the newspaper and which are displayed inside the building.

You sure could have used those when you was fighting, well, just about everybody in The Last Samurai.