The End Zone: Ohio State haters form cult

12/3/2008
BY MATT MARKEY
BLADE SPORTS WRITER
The-End-Zone-Ohio-State-haters-form-cult

A wolverine walks by the destroyed effigy of Brutus Buckeye, the Ohio State mascot at the Detroit Zoo on Nov. 21. The pinata used as the effigy was filled with meat and other treats to entice the animals.

Carlos Osorio / AP

A wolverine walks by the destroyed effigy of Brutus Buckeye, the Ohio State mascot at the Detroit Zoo on Nov. 21. The pinata used as the effigy was filled with meat and other treats to entice the animals.
A wolverine walks by the destroyed effigy of Brutus Buckeye, the Ohio State mascot at the Detroit Zoo on Nov. 21. The pinata used as the effigy was filled with meat and other treats to entice the animals.

Ohio State hating is now officially a cult. Like the Moonies, this cult s followers incessantly repeat a mantra too slow, soft schedule. Like the Manson family, this cult has maniacal spokesmen such as Mark May or James Carville.

Like the Branch Davidians, the Ohio State loathers constantly see a conspiracy at work. How else would OSU ever get in the BCS, they surmise.

As the BCS discussion intensifies, every expert is squawking at once it s kind of like suffering through The View and most of them detest the Buckeyes. ESPN s Christmas bonuses are based on how many times you can demean Ohio State.

In the Boise State game last weekend, the commentators openly campaigned for Boise to get in the BCS, and keep the Buckeyes out. Other TV talking heads rip Ohio State for losing the last two title games since being No. 2 out of 119 Division I teams must be such a cloak of shame.

They have their flaws, like every team, but why despise the Buckeyes? Did they sink Fannie Mae s fanny? Did they sucker punch the Dalai Lama? Or worse yet, did they force Richard Simmons on us?

No, the cult hates them because they usually win, and they don t mind marching around in scarlet and gray wigs and celebrating it. If the Buckeyes went 6-6 every year, this cult would disband, or be forced to drink the Kool-Aid.