Dear Straight Talk: I’m 17 and being seduced by a “Mrs. Robinson.” She’s a divorced friend of my mom’s in her 40s, in great shape, and attractive. First she offered me good money to do yard work. Then she started giving me wine afterward. Then she seduced me. Now she gives me really big tips for the excellent “yard work.”
I feel guilty and almost like a male prostitute. However, she’s hard to resist and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the money. A friend says her actions are illegal and I should blackmail her. I don’t want to blackmail her or get her in trouble, I just want to tell her it’s over, but I keep doing it “one more time” and can’t stop myself. I appreciate any advice. — Seduced in Petaluma, Calif.
Katelyn, 18: This is obviously a smooth operator. You need support getting out of this, even if not from parents. There is no way some drama won’t be involved and it could be unsafe.
Ochatre, 23: You know what you are doing, you admit it isn’t right, but you fail to make a decision. Best advice: Look deeply inside and imagine sharing your experience with your parents, siblings, and relatives. I believe after such an imagining you will have the strength to move on with your life.
Kira, 20: Unfortunately, you must be the adult. Next time she offers work, delay a couple days then reply that you have too much going on. Hopefully this will send a message that you’re done. If she doesn’t get the hint, you might have to tell her point blank. If things get ugly, tell your parents everything.
Molly, 21: This woman sounds lonely and in a dark place. She possibly feels bad about what’s happening, too. Blackmail is totally immoral and the feeling of selling yourself is taking a toll, so this absolutely must stop. I’ve had breakups that weren’t pretty, but it’s better than letting ugly things drag on.
Dear Seduced: An attractive divorced 40-something woman who is ‘buying’ a 17-year-old plaything isn’t the most stable cougar on the veldt. Indeed, she is a sex offender. Casual sex with anyone lonely and unstable is, frankly, hazardous. Stop seeing her NOW. For your safety, break up gently, but stay clear of her. Don’t enter her home or yard again. Send a written communication saying that she’s beautiful and you will miss her, but the relationship isn’t appropriate.
It’s crucial to cut this off cleanly. If she pesters you with voicemails, texts, etc., respond in writing once with, “Due to our age differences, it’s best we make a clean break.” Then STOP communicating. If things get strange, be prepared to tell your parents everything. — Lauren
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