Tuesday, Jun 19, 2018
One of America's Great Newspapers ~ Toledo, Ohio


Dear Santa, Pols have needs too

The glorious thing about the holidays is that you're never too old to believe, as the following letters attest ...

Dear Santa,

I know I said I'd give myself an early Christmas present of more leisure time this year. But can't a fella ever have second thoughts?

It's not like this would be the first time a politician has ever gone back and, you know, reworded something he said!

So this year, Santa, all I need is for you to rewind the calendar a little.

Maybe then everyone would forget about my quote-unquote early December retirement and quit buggin' me about it.

Jeez, hasn't anyone around here heard of Strom Thurmond?

Sincerely yours,

Bill Copeland


Dear Santa,

Let me just say that I know it looks bad, all right? But the fact is, I did my best. I mean, I'm only as good as what they give me to work with.

This was just not my year. Heck, this was just not our year.

Santa, do you have any idea what it was like this year to be a Democratic party leader anywhere in this nation, let alone at the county level?

I mean, we're way past Election Day; everyone else is humming “Jingle Bells,'' but I just can't get that old Bloodhound Gang tune out of my mind: “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire ...''

And wouldn't you think I'd already suffered enough over the Lucas County Commission? You'd think a party chairman could catch a break in December, but nooooooo.

Now I've got some sweet old guy up there who's doing the hokey-pokey with his retirement date.

He puts his left foot in, he puts his left foot out, etc., etc.

I'm not asking for much, Santa. Just a little peace and quiet, OK? Please?

Thanks very much,

Paula Ross


Dear Santa,

I have been SUCH a good girl this year - just ask the Democrats how good I was!

That is, if they're up out of their self-dug hole yet.

Tee hee.

No, wait. Sorry about that.

I don't mean to gloat, Santa. I'd lose holiday bonus points with you for gloating, wouldn't I?

Anyway, unlike every other greedy soul who's writing you this time of year (read: Democrats), I don't want anything. Not one single thing! Why would I?

We Republicans have it all!

Oh, wait. Spoke too soon. I forgot one thing: As a matter of principle, please slip a little tax cut under the tree.

Gratefully yours,

Bernadette Noe


Dear Santa,

I have been a very, very, VERY good girl this year!

I have, as usual, made the Republican party proud of me by delivering a supposedly unwinnable election.

Santa, all I want for Christmas this year is a cherry on top.

Oh, and a scepter would be nice, too.

Thanking you in advance,

Maggie Thurber


Dear Santa,



Harry Barlos

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