Thursday, Dec 08, 2016
One of America's Great Newspapers ~ Toledo, Ohio

Opinion

Let me know how you can tell if you're from Toledo

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Barb Padgett is either too modest or too honest.

She sent me an amusing list the other day: "You know you're from Toledo if " When I shot back an e-mail asking to use her list for column fodder, she replied: "I'm delighted that you enjoyed the list, Roberta, but unfortunately it wasn't my original idea."

A Wisconsin friend sent it, she said, and Lord knows where he got it from. More than likely, Barb suggested, it's just "floating around in the e-mail universe."

Well, if YOU wrote the list, e-mail me to take credit. If you didn't, but have some additions, send me those too. I don't have room here to run the entire list, but check my Blade blog, where I'll post it all tomorrow.

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Now, with a drum roll and apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I present: "You know you're from Toledo if "

•You get tired of hearing about Katie Holmes.

•You have gotten or almost gotten a ticket in Ottawa Hills.

•You refuse to say "Westfield Shopping Center," because it's really Franklin Park mall.

•You see an erratic driver and automatically look for the Michigan license plate.

•You know who Jamie Farr is.

•You know who says "Turtle."

•You don't think a giant, neon-colored frog sitting on the sidewalk is unusual.

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•Your mayor decides to change the fire hydrant color.

•You know all the words to the Erie Street Market jingle.

•You know at least one person who works for Jeep.

•You've ridden an elephant, a panda, a buffalo, and a turtle - at the zoo.

•You know who Opal Covey is and want her to run for mayor again just so you can watch the debate.

•You have four network TV news programs but take only two of them seriously.

•You remember when that guy from Boys II Men married a girl from Toledo.

•You hear "Telegraph Road" and immediately conjure up images of adult bookstores.

•You can pronounce "Maumee" correctly.

•You know who Blizzard Bill is.

•You end up in Michigan after taking a wrong turn, but don't panic because it's like going across the street.

•You remember the tunnel that used to go to the zoo, and jumped on the metal hatch at least six dozen times.

•You will always call MUO "MCO," just as your parents will always call UT "TU."

•You vote in elections where candidates almost always include a party-endorsed Democrat, and a Democrat running as an independent.

•You remember when the Big Boy disappeared from the Secor Road restaurant.

"By the way," Barb said at the end her e-mail, "I got a reply from one of the other people I sent [the list] to, telling me that it was her cousin who stole the Big Boy. Now that's really being from Toledo!"

Roberta de Boer's column appears here Tuesdays, and in Behind the News on Sundays. Read her blog weekdays at toledoblade.com.

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