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Their names are Vitali Klitschko, Chris Byrd, John Ruiz, and Lamon Brewster.

We could make a trivia question out of this, I suppose, but maybe too few would know the answer for it to be any fun.

They are the heavyweight champions of the world.

Yeah, all four of them. For alphabet-soup lovers, they are the champions of, in order, the WBC, IBF, WBA and WBO. I don’t know about the AFL-CIO.

Brewster won the WBO crown last month by whippin’ up on Wladimir Klitschko, saddling that Ukranian family with a split decision.

Anyway, you can see the state of heavyweight boxing. It is fractured, it is fairly anonymous. There are no dominant fighters, no widespread fan favorites.

In other words, it is ripe for the return of Mike Tyson.

Iron Mike is 37 years old now. He reportedly has the itch, which probably coincides with having squandered a fortune. He has not fought in more than a year, since a 49-second knockout of Clifford "The Big Red Dog" Etienne. The emphasis is on "Dog."

Tyson is a convicted rapist and would have been found guilty of being stupid and badly tattooed as well, if those were crimes.

Yet he remains mysteriously popular, and Showtime is ready to jump in with dollar signs and lots of zeros after them for TV and pay-per-view rights of a proposed fight between Tyson and Kevin McBride in late July.

Why would anybody care?

McBride is, to be gracious, a journeyman. In boxing parlance he is a tomato can. He hasn’t fought anyone, to speak of, yet has kissed plenty of canvas. The Big Red Dog is a legit contender by comparison.

This has been Tyson’s career since losing back-to-back title fights to Evander Holyfield - by TKO in November of 1996, by disqualification for not having had rabies shots before gnawing on Holyfield’s ear in June of ’97.

The one time Tyson stepped out of the tomato fields, he was laid out in the eighth round by Lennox Lewis in his only meaningful fight in seven years.

Vitali Klitschko has said he wants to fight Tyson, but that would be too risky for Iron Mike at this stage. Klitschko is closest to the real thing in the heavyweight division. No, better that Tyson tackles McBride if he wants to survive to draw other paydays.

We don’t need Mike Tyson. The man we need is Lewis, if for no other reason than Tyson is scared to death of him and might retreat into his cave.

Lewis, who retired in February at age 38 with about $100 million salted away, said at the time he would not be one of those fighters who retires and returns and so on and so forth.

Lewis was one of his sport’s most under-appreciated champions. He never got the respect he deserved for beating Tyson and Holyfield, for winning Olympic gold and for doing it all with a certain amount of class.

His final fight surely must stick in his craw. Lewis was trailing Klitschko on all three scorecards last June when the fight was stopped in the 12th round because a cut had opened around the Ukranian’s left eye.

Lewis was declared the winner and he was able to retire with the WBC and IBF belts. But the doubts that went with them are very much alive and active. Lewis showed up at a fight recently and was booed. Imagine that.

You have to wonder if he isn’t already regretting his decision.

A Lewis-Klitschko rematch would be huge, the biggest thing heavyweight boxing could offer in this day and age.

It would erase the obvious void left by his retirement. It would spotlight a true title fight. It would either cement Lewis’ reputation or validate Klitschko’s position in boxing’s biggest ring.

It would also render Mike Tyson unimportant.

To a recent resume that includes wins over Francois Botha, Orlin Norris, Julius Francis, Lou Savarese, Andrew Golota, Brian Nielsen and Clifford The Big Red Dog, Tyson could add the likes of Kevin McBride and all the "cans" his handlers can line up.

Finally, perhaps, as befits him, no one would pay any attention.

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