Thursday, Jul 28, 2016
One of America's Great Newspapers ~ Toledo, Ohio

Catchy Tune, But Song's Off-Key

TUESDAY

10:40 AM

The worst part? Been humming this !*$&% tune all morning. (See below.) Thing's stuck in my head like glue....

6 AM

Cripes, but I HATE this song:

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side

of his pretty little souped up four-wheel drive,

carved my name into his leather seats.

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,

slashed a hole in all four tires.

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Or, maybe next time he ll say to himself: Hmm. Should I date a rampaging psycho? Nah. Pass.

If another American Idol contestant recorded this song -- say Clay Aiken, for example well, OK, not Clay Aiken. But some guy, anyway, OK? If some guy sang this sociopathic ode, he d be court-ordered to report to the nearest intensive counseling program. Or, um, jail.

Please please please don t tell me this says anything about the actual state of interpersonal relationships

Then again, back in the day when I used to cover cops, I remember reading through report after report after report on domestic assaults, thinking to myself, Just how stupid can people get?

How about this? Stupid enough to write songs about jealousy-fueled felony vandalism. No wonder Dr. Phil is so lamentably popular.

Cripes, but I HATE this song Trust me: this version is a lot, LOT better.

Click to comment

Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem?

Temporibus autem quibusdam et aut officiis debitis aut rerum necessitatibus saepe eveniet.

Copyright © 2015 Toledo Blade

To Top

Fetching stories…