Celebrating life: Many cancer survivors observe special dates in treatment, recovery

Anne Willis of the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship in Silver Spring, Md., finished a triathlon in honor of her 10-year cancerversary. Enlarge

Cancer survivor Diana Gabel, second from left, with her mother, Grace Chapman, left, and daughters Kristin Little and Alyson Schlageter, at Mrs. Gabel's ‘End-to-Chemo' party. Enlarge

Anne Gregory, right, with friends LeaAnn Hayes, Cindy Brown, and Becky Holtsberry at Mrs. Gregory's Cinderella Ball, a fund-raiser for the American Cancer Society. NOT BLADE PHOTO Enlarge

Cookies and an invitation to Diana Gabel's surprise party when her chemotherapy ended. Enlarge

Cindy Rizzo, back row at right, attended the 'Pink on the Rink' Toledo Walleye game with her family, including son Zack Rizzo, 16, front row at left, and her sister, Chris Krzyminski, front right. Back row, from left, are Mrs. Rizzo's friends Colleen Wittenmyer, Renee Kane, Michelle Roberts, and Marianne Melton. JETTA FRASER Enlarge

Cancer survivor Karla Batt, second from left, with goddaughters Jordan Soden, Hanna Schaffer, Madison Batt and Mikayla Batt at her 'No Chemo Party.' NOT BLADE PHOTO Enlarge

Let some age-conscious people stop counting birthdays as they grow older. Jo Ann Valvo, 65, of South Toledo, happily celebrates two a year.

Her birthday is Dec. 19. Her "re-birthday," as the three-time cancer survivor calls it, is Dec. 28, the day in 2001 when she underwent a stem cell transplant.

Today, "My life is truly blessed and I continue to be cancer free," Mrs. Valvo said.

Other cancer survivors also observe significant moments in their journey from diagnosis through treatment. It might be the day they finished chemotherapy or radiation, or the day of a mastectomy, for example. Some even have a name for such dates: cancerversary.

"Cancerversary is not necessarily a celebration," said Anne Willis, director of survivorship programs for the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship in Silver Spring, Md., an advocacy group that has an online forum called cancerversary.org.

"Cancerversary is really the acknowledgement of a particular date or time or event that occurs to somebody affected by cancer," Ms. Willis, 27, explained. Ten years after she was diagnosed with a rare childhood cancer, she marked the milestone by hosting a dinner cruise for about 85 people who had helped her in some way through her treatment. "I wanted to do something to give back, to thank everybody," she said.

Ms. Willis also celebrated by competing in her first-ever triathlon, a cancer fund-raiser.

Now 13 years after her diagnosis, "I do still acknowledge my cancerversary, but it's much more low-key. It may just be waking up and acknowledging the day," she said.

Not everyone likes the term or the looking back. And many say every day is a celebration now.

Although other people may use the word cancerversary, "I don't because I don't want to continue thinking of it," said Kathy Farber, 63, of Maumee.

"Once you have cancer it's very hard to get away from cancer. It's just always there," she added. Her focus now is "to live healthfully and have joy" while working to regain a balance in body and spirit and sharing her experience if it will help others.

But she did celebrate when she completed radiation in 2008 by going to a ballroom dance competition in Hawaii, where she won a major event.

"It certainly gave my mind a break," Ms. Farber said of the trip. "It was quite expensive but we decided it would be a good way to say, ‘Wow, you made it through that part of everything so let's go to a pretty place and dance.'"

Karla Batt said she can understand why some cancer survivors don't want to do anything to remember stages of their illness. "For a long time I didn't talk about it," said the 45-year-old income development coordinator for the American Cancer Society who was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease when she was 20 and with breast cancer in 2008.

Mrs. Batt, of Defiance, said in both cases, early detection meant she didn't need to undergo chemotherapy — a good reason to celebrate. So in September, 2008, she threw a "No Chemo Party" for about 100 people.

"To me it was a celebration that I had made it through and it just was my way of really thanking everybody and letting them know how much [their support] meant to me," she said.

The circle of supporters around Melissa Doom, 31, receive regular reminders of her gratitude.

"Every year on my anniversary I send out an e-mail or text message to everyone who has helped me, saying thank you for being there for me through this journey," said the former South Toledoan. She now lives in Monroeville, Ohio.

She considers her anniversary to be Feb. 25, the day in 2008 when she had a double mastectomy and her doctor told her all the cancer had been removed.

Special friends found ways to lighten her emotional burden. One threw a bra-burning party. "Everyone brought one bra to burn and I brought all of mine," Miss Doom said. Another group threw her a "pink party" that included pink lasagne and a pink ribbon cake.

Diana Gabel's children organized a surprise party on the evening of her final chemo treatment last Oct. 26. Another celebration takes place this month when Mrs. Gabel, 62, of Sylvania Township, spends a week in Arizona with her husband, Bob; her mother; the Gabels' children and their spouses, and four grandchildren.

"I think it does help the recovery to know that you have so much support and so much love around you," Mrs. Gabel said.

Other survivors also experience this upside to a dreadful disease.

"I never knew I had as many friends as I did," said Cindy Rizzo, 46, of Maumee, who threw a celebration and thank-you party in December after surgery, chemo, and radiation. After another surgery this spring, she and her sister and a few other close friends and relatives will take a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate, she said.

Her breast cancer was diagnosed on Feb. 13, 2009. On Feb. 13 of this year, Mrs. Rizzo said, she thought back "to hearing those words: ‘You have cancer'... For me it probably was a day of my own personal reflection and I guess you could say a celebration that I'm still here a year later."

Diane Pauly traveled to South Carolina with her sisters to celebrate the end of her treatment. "It just made you feel good, it made you feel alive, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time," said the 59-year-old Whitehouse resident.

Now they're planning a second trip together. "Life is so short and fragile that I think this is good for myself and my sisters, because you don't know how long you have to live," Ms. Pauly reflected.

Planning a family trip helped take Carol Guttenberger's mind off chemo. "I would lay in bed and plan it all out and imagine how much fun we would have and all that we would see," she explained.

Last July, the family went to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon to celebrate her remission: Ms. Guttenberger, 57, of Sylvania; her husband, Jeffrey; her twin sister, their sons, and two of their sons' friends. "I went bald, still tired and still sick but it was still great to be there," she said.

Thinking back on the trip gives her pleasure as she's now back in chemo, Ms. Guttenberger said. She's also mapping out another family trip in her head.

In 2008, Anne Gregory of Defiance turned the 10-year anniversary of her diagnosis of lymphocytic leukemia into a fund-raiser for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. This year's "Cinderella Ball" — the third — is scheduled for May 8.

The women-only event includes food, drinks, dancing, and a purse auction. Guests wear ballgowns and pay a fee to attend. The first event raised about $800; last year's net was just over $2,300.

"It's kind of a quiet celebration for me. It's more of a fun night. I don't make it about me when we're there," said Mrs. Gregory, 50.

"When I was first diagnosed I didn't think I'd be around for this.... I take pride in putting this on because I know I'm here to help other people. Not everybody's as lucky as I am."

Contact Ann Weber at: aweber@theblade.com

or 419-724-6126.