For Nov. 7, thinking that our long national presidential campaign was about to end - HA! - I wrote an election “poem” that, truth be told, is better described as sheer doggerel.
Over on the east side, Beth Patrilla showed it to her language-arts students at Sacred Heart School. Now, I would argue that no teacher should expose impressionable young minds to such feeble “poetry,” but she did and, well, it's too late now to do anything for those poor, poor students.
Recently, a thick package from Ms. Patrilla landed in my mailbox, complete with a cover letter from the teacher:
“We really enjoyed your rhyming poem,
For many of us, your lines hit home.
Many thought this election would be a steal.
Please accept the views on how we feel.
Children are supposed to be seen and not heard,
But our teacher thought that this was absurd.”
Hey, me too! So here are excerpts from election poetry written by some of Ms. Patrilla's junior-high students. (Note to the kids: I wish I had room to include verses from each of you, but I don't, so don't take it personally.)
“Everyone has their own point of view,
But let me tell you,
Bush has never worked for anything he's got.
Gore has worked for a lot.” Kyle Kachmarik
“Bush is hip, a real cool dude,
While Gore is lame, he doesn't care,
He only lies to further his career.” Nick Hoyt
“Gore is gonna be the one to win,
So Bush better got back to his playpen.” Latoya Romero
“This is the day Bush will win,
Then Gore will go live in a recycling bin.
Then they will say to Gore that day,
`Why did you lose?' and he will say,
`It wasn't the booze!'” Jake Reese
“We all know Bush will win,
So Gore can sit on a pin.
We all know Gore is out of his mind, and, well,
Bush is very kind.” Amiee Markowski
“Who will take home the gold?
I guess it will take awhile, Florida is on hold!” Rachel Marazon
“Fuzzy numbers, is what Bush said,
Really bad ideas fill Gore's head.
So let's all hope you voted for Bush,
So Gore can go home and sit on his tush.” Jaime Zbierajewski
“Gore is for the middle class,
Bush is for people who drink champagne
Out of a silver glass.” Josh Hornyak
“I'm not ready to vote, and by law I can't,
So I won't, I'm just a kid, leave me alone!
I don't waste my time on something I can't fix
I'll vote when it's my time, I'm not
Falling for those political tricks!” Tim Mitchell
“I'm tired of picking up the newspaper and seeing their face,
All I ever do is throw it in another place.” Bianca Soto
Roberta de Boer's column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays,
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