'Miserable' Toledo is rich in art, culture, and sports

It no doubt came as a shock to Toledoans to discover how miserable they are.

Once again, Toledo, like most other middle-American Rust-Belt cities, is forced to defend itself from a survey that marks our town as a no-go zone of sorts. Even though we have indoor plumbing, electric lights, and other modern conveniences, we are deemed unworthy by Forbes magazine, which puts Toledo eighth on its list of "America's 10 most miserable cities."

Some folks in our city revel in their misery. These people are only happy when they're not. Their only hobby seems to be to knock their hometown, especially if they've lived here all their lives.

But I suspect that the great majority of Toledoans enjoy it here. A bad economy has hurt the region, and unemployment is unacceptably high.

That's pretty much the case everywhere, though. If anything, Toledo has a leg up. The auto industry has regained some of its vitality, and as the auto industry goes, so goes Toledo.

Toledo's wonderful cultural institutions should not have had to line up last week at a City Council hearing to remind us all of how good we've got it, but line up they did.

It's almost embarrassing to have to ask these questions again, but how many American cities of our size have a truly world-class art museum and a concert hall that would not be out of place in Europe? Yes, we're so deprived.

How many communities of 300,000 people have a zoo that surpasses ours? A ballet company that has produced its Christmas show, The Nutcracker, for more than 70 years?

A beautifully restored downtown theater that preserves a link to the city's past? A vibrant opera? One of the nation's best library systems?

Did anybody at Forbes, which is headquartered in New York City, pay attention last year when the Toledo Symphony Orchestra was the headliner at Carnegie Hall? More than 1,400 Toledoans went to the Big Apple to support their TSO's triumphant moment. In your face, Forbes.

The symphony also plans a trip to China this year. Maybe the Beijing Bugle won't rate us so high on the misery index.

And although some might argue that baseball, the national pastime, is not a cultural institution, how can we not remind Forbes that Toledo's Fifth Third Field was chosen by Newsweek magazine a few years ago as America's best minor league ballpark?

What about those poor miserable souls who set attendance records at Fifth Third Field almost every year? Can't something be done to help those unfortunate folks? How sad they seem.

Speaking of downtown, how about the Huntington Center, which continues to book world-class acts such as Elton John and the Eagles?

Consider the hockey fans who no longer have one of the worst facilities in the country, but one of the best. Not a bad seat in the house, and darned few empty ones. Yes, their hearts must be breaking when they shout "hit somebody!" at the start of every Walleye home game.

It's impossible not to conclude that geography and weather have a lot to do with these periodic ratings. The usual suspects are rounded up: Detroit, Flint, and Warren in Michigan all are among Forbes' top 10 miserable cities. So is Rockford, Ill., another northern city that gets a lot of snow, at least in a normal year.

Did you hear the joke about the biggest civic event in Rockford? The annual Greater Rockford Abandoned Auto Show.

The notion is absurd, of course, but jokes at our expense are the cross that Rockford, Toledo, and other cities not named New York have to bear. What, the Big Apple doesn't have potholes?

For that matter, how did Fort Lauderdale come in at number 7 on Forbes' list, just ahead of Toledo? I've never met anybody from Fort Lauderdale who wasn't smiling.

According to Forbes, Toledo earned its spot in the top 10 because of its tax rates and the scandal within the city's Department of Neighborhoods. Mayor Mike Bell was not happy with the Forbes report, or the fact that "local media" paid attention to it.

Sorry, mayor. It's not our job to ignore bad tidings. Anybody who uses Yahoo to browse the Internet saw the story on Yahoo's home page, complete with photos of grain elevators in Toledo.

It's easy to get defensive about these magazine ratings. To protest too vigorously is to invite suspicion elsewhere -- especially in other parts of the country where smugness is a civic virtue -- that we really must be as miserable as Forbes says.

However, to say nothing is to confirm it.

Thomas Walton is the retired editor and vice president of The Blade. His column appears every other Monday.

Contact him at: twalton@theblade.com