Friday, May 25, 2018
One of America's Great Newspapers ~ Toledo, Ohio

I Hear Toledo Is *Lovely* This Time of Year


10 AM

This fresh off the AP news wire moments ago:

CHICAGO - More snow fell on parts of the Midwest Thursday, a day after a deadly storm grounded hundreds of flights, postponed a baseball game, iced up roadways and disappointed those longing for the warmth of spring.

OK, look.

I realize the weather is not a particularly important subject. Not when (rate in accordance with your personal order of importance) bombs are going off INSIDE the Iraqi parliament, the real-estate market is tanking, you don't feed your dog/cat without worrying about it, George Bush can t sweet-talk any retired generals into overseeing his war, and the names Anna Nicole and Imus still dominate headlines.


Having said all that, then, let me pretty-please just add this:

I am uptohere with this weather, and I say that as someone who loves snow, loves winter, but now cannot take one more nanosecond of this battleship-gray season, with its endless overcast gloom and its lacerating winds and spitting snow and stinging rains and, yes, even sleet, because right now in my front flower bed are some 100 daffodil bulbs and they re looking mighty, mighty hopeless, if I do say so myself, which is to say, there s foliage but no bloom, not that I m any kind of expert on flowering bulbs, but it IS getting on in April, and if I m not mistaken there should be all sorts of blooms to look at out my window but there aren t, there is only a relentlessly dreary gray sky to look at and, well, ok, also my frozen forsythia branches, some which I was lucky enough to have taken inside and therefore saved from the ever-lowering temperatures, which are driving me nuts, let me just say, in case I hadn t yet mentioned it, because the cold, hard fact is that I should NOT be wearing heavy black turtleneck sweaters anymore, I should be in light fabrics in springy colors, but I m not, because it s ABSURD to put on spring clothes when it s Christmas-cold out there, and yes, yes, I know this is one helluva run-on sentence, and I m sorry, but I am simply uptohere with this weather


Sorry. Pardon this interruption.

Please resume your real life.

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