LOS ANGELES - "Don't Read!! Personall," warns the diary's inside cover. But its author, Anna Nicole Smith, has no hold in death on the remnants of her life.
The public now can read that she delighted in rough sex, was ecstatic over the prospect of plastic surgery for her breasts, and fearful of a jealous boyfriend. She was careless with spelling, punctuation, and, too often, with her own well-being.
Complaining about her then-lover's carousing, Ms. Smith writes that she'll break it off with him if he doesn't stop. Then she amends her stand, according to new diary excerpts released exclusively to the Associated Press.
"We discussed it and he said he wouldn't go out and get drunk no more unless it was with me," she wrote in the diaries that span about a year from 1991 to 1992.
On a night out a few weeks later with the same man - identified only by first name - Ms. Smith wrote that she got drunk and flirted with another man.
Her boyfriend "came unglued. threw me out of his house & broke up with me it was awlful he hit me and my mother," she wrote.
The model and once Playboy Playmate, who was born Vickie Lynn Smith, was found dead Feb. 8 in Hollywood, Fla., of a toxic mix of prescription drugs.
Copies of 60 diary pages were provided to the AP by Universal Rarities, a Corona-based auction house. The newly released handwritten pages are from a different diary than the ones recently sold to a German businessman for more than $500,000.
Her tone in the entries veers between simple joy and deep-seated unhappiness.
One entry starts, "I'm a very sad person," and is illustrated by a weeping face. Ms. Smith goes on to write that "my mom hates me so much. She is so jealous of me. I love my mom but I cant handle it anymore."
One of the more poignant passages deals with her shock at finding she's pregnant.
"I'm so scared! How can this happen to me," she writes, adding that her boyfriend "will hate me. he don't want kid. Can't do it!"
She underlined the last phrase but there were no further details in the entry provided to the AP.
Ms. Smith was known to have two children. Son Daniel died in September at age 20 of a lethal mix of drugs, three days after Ms. Smith gave birth to a daughter, Dannielynn. Larry Birkhead was found to be the baby's father.
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